Yesterday was a pivotal day. I rec'd the emails from Phil and Deb at All Things That Matter Press informing me that the cover and galley proofs of my novel, Shaman Circus, were ready. I don't know why, but instead of just being excited - I was also nervous with the realization that this is really happening. My first novel is being published.

I've been involved in the publishing industry for more than 25 years - in the newspaper, magazine and small press worlds. I don't get bummed when I receive a rejection, don't jump up and down doing the happy dance when I see my byline, and don't exclaim with wonder when I receive payment for a writing or publishing effort.

But this was so different. I was no longer the old school writer, slightly jaded, I guess, compared to all the young authors I work with on a daily basis. I was no longer the old hat, been there, done that person.

I felt as green and unnerved as any newbie - which as uncomfortable as it is, I realize its the way it should be. One should constantly push their comfort zones. And having a novel published for the first time - the first completed novel after four attempts over 29 years - is the dream I've had since I saw my first poem published in a 4th grade newsletter.
Shaman Circus will be available soon in trade paperback, Kindle and e-book formats from the ATTM Press website, http://www.allthingsthatmatterpress.com/buynow.htm  and from Amazon.com.  I'll let you know as soon as I know a date. 

First I must go over the galley proof... but in the meantime, I offer a sneak peek at the cover of Shaman Circus, cover art by the magical Steve Viner of the United Kingdom and cover design by Deb Harris. I am such a lucky writer to have so many brilliant experts helping me see my dream become a reality!

Shaman Circus Summary: In New Orleans following Katrina all bets are of; all masks dissolved. “Don’t forget the sham in shaman,” Jacob Laguerre lies to his new apprentice, Alex Hampton. When Alex, a twenty-eight year-old anthropology professor goes on field-study to post-Katrina New Orleans, he enters a chaotic and altered landscape where he’s psychologically, physically and spiritually challenged by the sarcastic mentoring of the mulatto, Laguerre, a current day voudou shaman.
Jacob with his questionable past, intrigues Alex ,who struggles with a crisis in confidence. They find themselves bound together in mud-caked knots when Laguerre leads Alex on escapades both spiritual and illegal.
Laguerre, who in his criminal past implemented chaos and escape, confronts his own internal demons as he toys with and tutors Alex. The anthropologist, misled and beguiled, tramps the desolate streets of the Ninth Ward with his new-found friend, Mavis. A waitress at Bad Jacqui’s, Mavis strives to make sense of surviving the floods but still relives the night where trapped in her attic, she painted a visual journey of those who survived and drowned.
Lily Hampton, sculptor, torn between her love for both men, devises a devious plan of atonement which could heal or cause irrevocable harm.
Perry Laguerre, Jacob’s hermaphroditic twin, the trump card in this deck of freaks, comes out of hiding, the silent healer, who risks losing his brother in a complex attempt to enlighten and heal.
Following the failure of the levees, this raggle-taggle group is cast adrift and crashes together in an attempt to make sense of internal and external wastelands. The wreckage of devastated and government-abandoned New Orleans leaves no quarter for societal charades and consumer societies.
These quirky fringe-dwellers, as colorful and eccentric as the city itself, follow a taut path between madness and redemption in the no man’s land of Refrigerator Town following Special K where they assist in the aftermath and healing of both New Orleans and those who remain
Here in this unpredictable landscape they discover how art, existentialism, creativity, atonement, the Lower Ninth Ward, FEMA, New Orleans politics, music, flood, voudou, fire, Haitian history, mythology, alchemy, government apathy, human suffering… and ultimately transformation and sanctuary.

A New Year's Hope

Here's hoping that 2010 is a breakout, breakthrough year for all of you. May you hold true to your inner core and allow it to guide your dreams into reality and your steps throughout the world. May your year be full of wonder and creativity. May you write a book, create an indie film, post a poem, sing a song, play a tune, paint a painting, weld a metal sculpture or fold an origimai bird to flight. May your creations ignite the fire of another's dreams.
Even if you touch just one person...
and they touch one person...
what magic might transpire?
May you enlighten the world, as you continuosly rediscover your self.

Back in the swing

The holidays are a wonderful time to gather influences and absorb undercurrents - a paradoxical time of action and reflection, a time to look back and reminisce with family and friends, renew old traditions and establish new ones, welcome the floods of memories and create those to savor in the future. There's the hustle and bustle, the creation of foods from family recipes, the handing down of those recipes, the sharing of family recipes and delicacies with friends. What surprised me this year was the flood of memories as Kendall, Beth and I unwrapped ornaments from four different families, some dating back to the 50's. Kendall even had memories this year of where we found ornaments at Tybee, Hampton and Folly beaches, her trip on the Polar Express train in the mountain when she was three, and the traditions of seeking out various routes to see the best Christmas lights.

But this year, we had new experiences which truly brought back many memories. When Kendall danced in her first ballet performance on the stage, tears came to my eyes as she followed her mother's footsteps to the footlights. And as Kendall sang in the Phyllis Wheatley Repertoire (an award winning repertory company) at local programs (one held in a church way out in the country), she established a new tradition for us, treading new ground, since my family are not known for their sining voice. Beth and I were so proud. And it's strange to see how natural Kendall is onstage, doesn't get nervous at all, while Jeff and I, and even Beth, are shy in front of people.

Because I worked so much over the holidays, I'm eager to get back into my studio and do some creative work, either writing, drawing, or art journals. I finished one drawing this morning with the new pencil set my son, Jeff, gave me to add to the sketches for the art show I'll hold at the release of Shaman Circus. I plan to have a number of sketches of the characters, as well as some of the scenes and have already finished seven paintings related to both Shaman books. I'd like to hold a mixed media event like I used to with The Howling. Not sure what that will involve yet.

And while I mention seeing friends as a good part of Christmas, that's barely happened yet. I've been too busy working at the various jobs and watching Kendall. Bethany and I have spoken briefly at each of our work areas at the mall, but that's not getting together in the fun kind of way. So all of that will have to happen after New Year's.

It's been a busy December with acceptances of short stories and poety and my job as arts and poetry writer for The Examiner, an online national newspaper with local sections. Calliope Nerve http://calliopenerve.blogspot.com/ published three of my poems around Christmas and a short story will appear in Metazen with a poem, The Quintessential Language of Bridges accepted for publication in Full of Crow in 2010. Plus two of my paintings, Wheel of Fortune and Carnivale will appear in the Chronus Confusium show on Jan. 1st and 2nd. This is a show feraturing thee Inner Circkus as well as other circkus acts at the Warehouse Theatre in Greenville, SC. Carnivale is one of the New Olreans street scenes from Shaman Circus.